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Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:04 am
by rrfish
SUBJ: Upgrading!!

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Golfing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Troubled User.....

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,

Tech Support

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:07 am
by Dr. Sheexy
Hahaha, classic.

On a side note, there appear to be a lot of married Seikens members.
Maybe there should be an SoM race where you have to get your spouse to play with you :P


Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:11 am
by rrfish
Unforunately my wife won't touch any of the games I play...aside from Animal Crossing and the Mario series of course. Though at times she does enjoy watching some of the games I play and will hint at me that I need to play such and such game again (i.e. Tales of Symphonia).

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:18 am
by Kassidy
My wife likes Lego Star Wars, but more than that we haven't really videogamed together, reason being it's not entirely her cup of tea, and she enjoys LSW as it's just a bit of fun. A lot of her friends won't play games with their husbands because of the noticeable aura of frustration they generate because the wife isn't doing something exactly as per the plan.

Hence I haven't ventured into introducing her to SoM, as we would probably have a bit of trouble coordinating. Though maybe it could be a good exercise, I don't know (or a good route to me sleeping on the couch...).

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 11:12 am
by Tallon
frickin' hilarious sir. Sounds just like my mom. So I sent it to her. She'll be laughing in a little while. Thanks for brightening up our day with this humor.

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 11:38 am
by Lotus
My wife is big into Mario Party, Animal Crossing, etc.
She is fairly tolerant of my excessive gaming on multiple levels.

Anyways, she only found this midly amusing, though I thought it was hilarious.

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 5:35 pm
by Duran
Wow...we DO have a lot of married members...

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 6:36 pm
by racx_00
Oh very nice! XD

Not married and girlfriendless. I prefer it that way at the moment as well.

As for playing games with someone else (ie. SoM), I tend to get frustrated if they have no idea what they are doing.

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 7:43 pm
by The J Person
I've seen this before. I'm not even married and I can appreciate this. :D