I know it's probably bad form to quote an entire paragraph, but I can't resist:
Bozeia wrote:Neither of them, however, seems especially learned. Carlie looks and acts the part of a six-year-old, while what I could gather from Kevin’s garbled background would indicate that he basically spent as much time away from the castle as beastly possible. Not to mention the speech impediments all around, which would make any information impossible to interpret.
Priceless! And most likely how Angela in the original SD3 would've thought if she only had those two in her party.
My very first emulated SFC game was SD3, and it was played excruciatingly low-res and low-FPS on a Pentium 75 in Japanese (most of the kanji was rendered unreadable because I was stuck with 320x240 or frying the sucker). Will review more when I'm done reading.
Okay, done (my AoE playlist was perfect background)! I think you've captured the scenario and characters very nicely, but I think the Faerie and Wisp wouldn't be nonexistent in such a scene-- granted, it'd be very hard to write them in (too much for the reader to swallow at once), so I think this piece is a good compromise. All in all, it's a great scene in Maia prior to the bridge incident, and it shows me just how little I've actually done in my own SD3 screenplay idea brewing in my brain. Not to mention, the consistency with the original Japanese characterization is a testament to the job well done by the fanslation group.
Charlotte in Japan is often nicknamed Char (
Sharu) in fanfiction. Since you hadn't played the game through six times (one for each character) yet, I'll spoil the backstories a bit, and tell you that all six are exiles in their own way: Duran feels he's failed his country and king after an attack by Altena humiliates him; Hawkeye (Hawk) is framed for murder and has to break out of prison; Riesz (Lise) is a lone survivor of an attack on her homeland; Angela's story you know; Charlotte has a unique backstory if she's the leader, so I'll omit those details; Kevin's story you pretty much have down, his best friend was slaughtered with the permission of his father.
The party you picked may have tactical weaknesses (you'll need a LOT of walnuts to keep Carlie and Angela fully charged, especially two-thirds into the game), but the most challenging party possible IMO is Duran/Angela/Carlie.
I like your storytelling style, so keep up the game and fanfic! In fact, I think I'll get started on the bridge scene, but with all 6 characters... somehow.
