Some original poetry
Simply because I don't think I've bored you all enough with my SD ones. Fantasy poetry- done solely for the sake of experimentation.
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Dragon Hunt
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Strike the stars with my wings,
Caress my scales with your touch, oh wind;
Let the moon be lost in black clouds I breath,
The sky bows to its king.
Far below mountains tremble,
As with a single roar I humble them;
And nestled in their vales and valleys they hide,
My feast to be, these beasts called 'men'.
They bring out their toys: Forked sticks,
Bits of metal not even as sharp as a claw-
They hide away their women and children;
A bit of sport to seek when I am through with them.
Offer yourself to my hunger,
Little two legged beasts who think to fight;
Entertain me as the feeble mouse does the cat-
Sing your terror in your dying screams to me.
What lovely ambrosia on the night wind,
Cries of death and the burning of flesh.
A fitting offering to the this land's true king;
Let never any arrogant beast think himself above me!
Thickening smoke bears me upward,
My throne among weeping stars;
The sickle moon my silver crown-
As I leave the charred remains of my feast below.
--
Dragon Hunt
--
Strike the stars with my wings,
Caress my scales with your touch, oh wind;
Let the moon be lost in black clouds I breath,
The sky bows to its king.
Far below mountains tremble,
As with a single roar I humble them;
And nestled in their vales and valleys they hide,
My feast to be, these beasts called 'men'.
They bring out their toys: Forked sticks,
Bits of metal not even as sharp as a claw-
They hide away their women and children;
A bit of sport to seek when I am through with them.
Offer yourself to my hunger,
Little two legged beasts who think to fight;
Entertain me as the feeble mouse does the cat-
Sing your terror in your dying screams to me.
What lovely ambrosia on the night wind,
Cries of death and the burning of flesh.
A fitting offering to the this land's true king;
Let never any arrogant beast think himself above me!
Thickening smoke bears me upward,
My throne among weeping stars;
The sickle moon my silver crown-
As I leave the charred remains of my feast below.
- Dr. Sheexy
- Site Admin
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Ahh, yet another great poem done by Koren. I'll be looking forward to your other poems too. You have a very talented mind, there Koren! Not many people might care these days, but we at the seikens will always love and welcome them.
Your ideas are always fresh to, which is great! Keep up the great art poems and work!^_^
Your ideas are always fresh to, which is great! Keep up the great art poems and work!^_^
Danny: Hehe- as I've said before..Poetry requires a less than typical mind set. Always happy to see it liked though. ^^; This kinda thing usually gets overlooked in favor of fics..since those tend to be a little less surreal.
Thank ya for the feedback~ Glad you enjoyed it too. ^.^ My originals are usually a bit harder for folks to get into.
Thank ya for the feedback~ Glad you enjoyed it too. ^.^ My originals are usually a bit harder for folks to get into.
All of your poems are great, but it does seem that most people will like the mana ones more since this is the seikens fourm. Although I'm pretty sure that everyone loves your poems just about the same!:)Koren wrote:Thank ya for the feedback~ Glad you enjoyed it too. ^.^ My originals are usually a bit harder for folks to get into.
Danny: haha- you'd be surprised. But thank ya all the same.
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Marini: On which soundtrack is that? ^^; I've got a few...*may be missing some come to think* But I'm very glad you liked it. Heheh...I've always thought of them as being supremely arrogant during scenes like that..glad it carried over well instead of just looking over dramatic. XD Thank you!
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Marini: On which soundtrack is that? ^^; I've got a few...*may be missing some come to think* But I'm very glad you liked it. Heheh...I've always thought of them as being supremely arrogant during scenes like that..glad it carried over well instead of just looking over dramatic. XD Thank you!
Muchas gracias,
Very nicely done. The scene was set from the first line and the tone carried throughout. The wordplay and imagery was nicely executed. The forth line of the second stanza particularly struck me as the reversal of the dragon's role with that of mankind. We are the beasts. The concept proved to strengthen the reader's notion that the dragon is the hero of this poem. Repeated in the next stanza, the imagery is even strengthened by making man the fledgling fighters. The dragon is the sole inheritor of prudence and discernment. Mankind is portrayed as response-oriented.
The coronation of the dragon in the last stanza further emphasizes the dragon's superiority over mankind below and wraps up the poem nicely.
Thanks (hope you don't mind my ranting),
manaman
Very nicely done. The scene was set from the first line and the tone carried throughout. The wordplay and imagery was nicely executed. The forth line of the second stanza particularly struck me as the reversal of the dragon's role with that of mankind. We are the beasts. The concept proved to strengthen the reader's notion that the dragon is the hero of this poem. Repeated in the next stanza, the imagery is even strengthened by making man the fledgling fighters. The dragon is the sole inheritor of prudence and discernment. Mankind is portrayed as response-oriented.
The coronation of the dragon in the last stanza further emphasizes the dragon's superiority over mankind below and wraps up the poem nicely.
Thanks (hope you don't mind my ranting),
manaman
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- Grave Bat
- Posts: 446
- Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2006 7:23 pm
- Location: Under my hat!
Nifty.
(I'm sooo bad for using two lines to reply to a whole poem... >.<)
EDIT: And so I'll reply with more than that! ???
I really like the "feast" line.
It's always awesome to read your stuff. I wish I were this dilligent about writing stuff, or else I'd have actually got a script for a game written by now...
(I'm sooo bad for using two lines to reply to a whole poem... >.<)
EDIT: And so I'll reply with more than that! ???
I really like the "feast" line.
It's always awesome to read your stuff. I wish I were this dilligent about writing stuff, or else I'd have actually got a script for a game written by now...
Last edited by The J Person on Sun Apr 15, 2007 3:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Manaman: O.o; first time I've gotten a step by step analysis of one of my poems. Thank you! Hehe- It was a fun challenge to take that mindset and run with it. Looks like it's going over very well with folks though- particularly if it's inviting reviews like that. I don't mind your 'rambling' at all- it's pretty insightful to me to hear back the impressions people get from my poems. The more detailed the response the better I understand my audience.
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The J Person: Hehe. Well I can't say I'm actually dilligent so much as just randomly inspired if that makes any sense. I've got whole notebooks full of poems written while walking to work or just lazing around at lunch and getting a sudden idea.
Glad to hear my writing's not chasing you all away in terror. Thank you!
-And game scripts are hard to write. Been somewhat doing that myself for awhile with some friends and...yeah.
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The J Person: Hehe. Well I can't say I'm actually dilligent so much as just randomly inspired if that makes any sense. I've got whole notebooks full of poems written while walking to work or just lazing around at lunch and getting a sudden idea.
Glad to hear my writing's not chasing you all away in terror. Thank you!
-And game scripts are hard to write. Been somewhat doing that myself for awhile with some friends and...yeah.