Cinderella

Post by **Destiny** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 11:41 am

Helloooo. So I've been working on the final song for my Fairytale concept album, my major project for my music degree.

The album consists of 4 songs depicting the emotions (well, MY interpretations) of women in 4 different fairy tales (Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, The Goose Girl and Cinderella).

Cinderella is not in a totally polished state but I thought I'd share it anyway!

It's basically finished but needs tweaking, and I have a few more layered bits to add, just some violin lines and more vocal harmonies probably. (And possibly some subtle electro drums, but I'm not sure about that one.)

I've put it on my myspace player - it's the 4th song down, elegantly titled "Cinderella draft" (ahem).

The lyrics don't seem to come up, for some reason, on this song, so here they are. ('Scuse lack of caps! I'm so lazy when I write out lyrics!)

another day to paint in
monochrome and aching
another battle raging
between realities and dreams
another mountain to climb
another shackle to unwind
another scar beneath her skin
another hole to fill in

and her imagination
she swallowed deep inside her
because they told her it was
dangerous to dream
but now she cuts it open
peers inside to breathe it in
she finds herself surrounded
by all the ghosts she's been

this is not my story
this is not the end
cos everyone is always
happy in the end, aren't they?
this is not my story
this is not the end
cos everyone is always
happy in the end

aren't they?

as her defences fall down
around her fractured portraits
where shadowed thoughts become her
hated demons, taunting,
whispering on street corners
- don't stop now - keep running -
the blood keeps pounding in her ears
a city blurring in her tears

her defiance tells her
the biggest lie it ever told her
"I am not afraid!"
"No I am not afraid!"
but she's afraid of every
second she must face alone
her severed self bleeding
from a thousand stars she wished upon

this is not my story
this is not the end
cos everyone is always
happy in the end, aren't they?
this is not my story
this is not the end
cos everyone is always
happy in the end

I know I'm meant to be loved
I know I'm meant to be loved
(etc. etc. etc......)

this is not my story
this is not my story
(etc. etc. etc......)
and I don't want to be alone

this is not my story
this is not my story
everyone is always
happy in the end

aren't they?

Post by **Kassidy** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 1:24 pm

Most impressive. Your vocals keep getting better and better. Instrumentally I'd only add violins. While I can see electronic drums working quite well for it, my feeling would be to leave it without drums unless you were looking at having an instrumental break in there somewhere.

Also a great idea on the general concept.

Post by **Koren** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 2:52 pm

This is very beautiful! Wonderful lyrics and vocals. ^.^ The tune's already well in my mind with at least half of the lyrics set in place and I've only listened to it twice when I started posting this.

I'm in agreeance with Kassidy about the drums; though in my case they wouldn't sound quite right to me with the delicate vocal and piano interweaving there. The piano was the perfect instrument for this one- a soft but still strong instrument to support the loneliness of the song.

I'm iffy on the inclusion of a violin- It's a nice instrument but a tad strident when having to compete with single piano and singer to my mind. ^^; that's just me though.

As lyrics go- incredibly lovely. ^.^ You've a fine hand at weaving emotion into the lyrics; made even better when you actually sing them. Songs usually appear weak in written form- can safely say this one doesn't at all, and didn't disappoint when I actually got to hear it.

Post by **Kassidy** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 3:46 pm

Only mildly on topic, but how many songs does the myspace player let you host? I'm trying to figure out what's the best way to go about putting some of my stuff online somewhere and being able to, hopefully, both stream and download. Well, and not have people screw with my copyrights.

Post by **Marini** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 7:21 pm

Destiny,

This is beautiful and I love the way it flows and the story (no pun intended) it tells.

I actually listened to the myspace player while reading the lyrics here.

I like the violins that are already there (I'm partially biased to the sound of violins

)especially when the emotion intensifies and towards the end. Adding them might give them a fuller sound but I wonder if it would conflict with the soft piano. I'd have to listen to it a few more times. I don't know if the percussion would work here. Imho, I think it would change the overall mood.

My fav verses:

the blood keeps pounding in her ears
a city blurring in her tears

*I'm singing along now

*

Danny · Post by **Danny** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 10:05 pm

Yes, your song and lyrics were certainly amazing. Your talent is beyond belief. I'm glad to see the many different arts at seikens such as drawings, poems/prose, songs, etc. The members here are all truely talented. Way to go seikens, keep it up!^_^

Post by **Dr. Sheexy** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 12:29 am

I like Kassidy's idea on Violins. I think the drums would be a bit much. They would take from the softness of the song I think.

Destiny this is just awesome, very nice mood to it.
Awesome lyrics. That piano is sweeeeeeet.

I think it has enough backing vocals.

Man, it sounds pretty polished right now if you ask me.

This is great!

Post by **Lumineux** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 4:56 am

I'll agree with everyone else here on the drums. It sounds just fine to me without them.

And I simply have to say that you have an amazingly beautiful voice, Destiny. You capture the emotion of your lyrics (which are also phenomenal) incredibly well. It's soft and lovely and I really, really love it!

I wish I could say just how much, but it's liable to get redundant if I try.

And Sheexy is right- for a 'draft' version, that sounds pretty polished to my ears. Wonderful, wonderful work. More, please!! ^.^

Post by **Destiny** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:56 am

Thank you so much for listening, everybody!

Your suggestions were very helpful, too. I've decided against the drums now, too, because I had a little experiment with them and I just couldn't make them sit right with everything else, although in my imagination they sounded quite nice... oh well - so I'll scrap that idea. xD

Lumineux, aww, what you said about my voice and emotion really made me smile! I often feel as if my voice is a bit of a weakness because it's untrained and doesn't have the strength and power that a lot of commercial voices do, but comments like that make feel so much better.

I must be improving! Hooray! Thanks.

And I'm glad you liked it!

Post by **Lumineux** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:51 pm

Being able to belt out a high C at top volume or trill a note ad nauseum does NOT mean your voice is weak.

Keep up the beautiful work!